How does it feel to be extremely happy??
Is it to have the love of your life??
Is it to feel like you are helping others all the time??
is it by having friends or money or fame or whatever!!
I know the answer to this question and it is the right one...
You can't be so extremely happy unless you are close to Allah..I know I know I can hear all of you saying ok we know that..
But I wish that answer is simple as it seems..
I will take me as an example...I got really close to Allah and started to get what Islam means when I was 18 yrs old..In that Ramadan especially...And i knew what happiness means..
I felt it last year when I was memorizing Quraan ..happiness from another world..
I feel it everytime a baby grasps my finger so hard and won't let it go..
I felt it with you although it was an illusion..
I feel every-time I manage to find a place in the ICU to a critical case..
I felt it when you your eyes used to shine when you see me although it was an act..
I felt it every time I made a movie that touches something for everyone..
I feel it when someone says that I made a difference to his life..
I feel when I eat macaroni or cheese cake or chocolate..
I feel it when I set someone straight and tell him exactly what he is to me..
I feel it when Iam myself..
HAPPINESS!!
But today Iam not...I feel sad...I don't feel sad alot..I try not to feel sad alot..And I have gigantic defense mechanisms against feeling sad..But something is wrong with them today..
Iam sad..
Iam sad because Iam not close to Allah...
Iam sad because Iam consumed and I don't get to have a break..
Iam sad because Iam so lonely..
Iam sad because I can't concentrate..and Iam dizzy..
Iam sad because noone gets me where I work..
Iam sad because the whole last week everyone keeps wishing me to get married with a sorrow tone in their voices and Iam done telling everyone it doesn't matter..
Iam sad because I can't control my time..
Iam sad because the hospital sucks and I can't do nothing to change it..not when Iam alone..not when there noone to share your failure, your success,your hopes,your ideas,even you jokes..
Iam sad because Iam losing myself sometimes..I can't get a grip of my own timer..I can't seek my perfect rhythm..
But again..It is a matter of time before everything will turn out to be the best..and if I kept holding to that thought I know I will be fine..The thing is Iam not sure anymore..
Is it to have the love of your life??
Is it to feel like you are helping others all the time??
is it by having friends or money or fame or whatever!!
I know the answer to this question and it is the right one...
You can't be so extremely happy unless you are close to Allah..I know I know I can hear all of you saying ok we know that..
But I wish that answer is simple as it seems..
I will take me as an example...I got really close to Allah and started to get what Islam means when I was 18 yrs old..In that Ramadan especially...And i knew what happiness means..
I felt it last year when I was memorizing Quraan ..happiness from another world..
I feel it everytime a baby grasps my finger so hard and won't let it go..
I felt it with you although it was an illusion..
I feel every-time I manage to find a place in the ICU to a critical case..
I felt it when you your eyes used to shine when you see me although it was an act..
I felt it every time I made a movie that touches something for everyone..
I feel it when someone says that I made a difference to his life..
I feel when I eat macaroni or cheese cake or chocolate..
I feel it when I set someone straight and tell him exactly what he is to me..
I feel it when Iam myself..
HAPPINESS!!
But today Iam not...I feel sad...I don't feel sad alot..I try not to feel sad alot..And I have gigantic defense mechanisms against feeling sad..But something is wrong with them today..
Iam sad..
Iam sad because Iam not close to Allah...
Iam sad because Iam consumed and I don't get to have a break..
Iam sad because Iam so lonely..
Iam sad because I can't concentrate..and Iam dizzy..
Iam sad because noone gets me where I work..
Iam sad because the whole last week everyone keeps wishing me to get married with a sorrow tone in their voices and Iam done telling everyone it doesn't matter..
Iam sad because I can't control my time..
Iam sad because the hospital sucks and I can't do nothing to change it..not when Iam alone..not when there noone to share your failure, your success,your hopes,your ideas,even you jokes..
Iam sad because Iam losing myself sometimes..I can't get a grip of my own timer..I can't seek my perfect rhythm..
But again..It is a matter of time before everything will turn out to be the best..and if I kept holding to that thought I know I will be fine..The thing is Iam not sure anymore..
1 comments:
I am really very sorry .we didn't use to this sadness and depression from you. You are usually the source of energy and Optimism for us .please dr/ alaa get rid of this matter and overcome it rapidly, we feel worry about you.finally Ihope all the world happiness to you.as you deserve the best thing in our life, you are respectful,helpful and kind person.in this world we donot find Principles like you have.
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